Ellen's birthday just happened a few days ago...I told her I baked a cake...She came over to my house with her boy toy...I then proceeded to shoot her with my nerf shotgun, after she realized I was a cop, and said "YOU'RE A COP!!!", after which I shot her again in the face with nerf rifle, and whilst laughing, proceeded to unload my clip into her. After this, I notified her that yes I am a cop, and no, there is no cake. After this, what followed can only be described in legends. From now on, instead of Tornado Warnings, they should have Ellen warnings.
#youmad#madbitches
